Perfectionism is the psychological undercurrent that is responsible for many mental health disorders including: depression, anxiety, OCD, eating disorders, and even sexually acting out. It even impacts the quality of relationships.
Some people immediately know that they are perfectionists while others mistake their condition as something else.
Real perfectionism is not to be mistaken for motivation for success. A perfectionist is not motivated to succeed, but rather by fear of failure.
According to researchers, there are three types of perfectionism. Do you relate to any of these?
- Self-critical perfectionist- If you have this subtype of perfectionism you probably criticize yourself and self-imposed high standards often beyond the point of what is realistically achievable.
- Socially Oriented Perfectionist- You may show extreme concern about what others expect of you and feel a need to put their judgements of your above your own. Additionally, you will perceive that their expectations are extremely high and rigid making you feel hopeless as a failure in their world. This may lead you to feel a conflict of both resentment towards fitting in and a desire to be viewed as good by others.
- Other-Oriented Perfectionist- If you have high expectations of others and impose on them standards and judgements based on details, you may have this subtype of perfectionism. You may relate to being easily irritated at others doing things the “wrong way” or “not good enough.” Often this presents as showing up in the context of a relationship. Your romantic may feel annoyed and hurt by you while you are feeling constantly frustrated by their failures.
If any of this sounds familiar to you, then don’t hesitate to contact me. We can begin by scheduling a quick phone-consultation where you will get to bring up your concerns and then we can discuss how to move forward.